


guilt // phan

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternative Universe - High School, Alternative Universe - Vampire, High School AU, M/M, Pastel Dan, Phil POV, bullied phil, vampire, vampire fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:14:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6340045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil is absolutely obsessed with vampires. He wears fake fangs and red contacts to school every day. Then, with the help of his best friend, he finds that there's a vampire going to his school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Phil carefully held his brand-new red contact on the tip of his finger, careful not to drop it in the sink. He gently placed the contact into his eye and blinked, his eyes watering a bit with discomfort as they adjusted to the piece of plastic in his eye. He put in the other contact, blinked for about twenty seconds and smirked in the mirror, the sharp tip of his left fake fang peeking out of his upper lip. He looked like a real vampire, and surely everyone in his year would believe it this time.

Phil fell in love with the idea of vampires when he took a trip to New Orleans three years ago (coincidentally, that had also been the week he discovered he was gay, but that's an entirely different story). The city was full of mysterious legends about the beautiful creatures, all of which completely fascinated Phil. He had made it his mission since then to become one. When he eventually realized he couldn't do that (or not easily, at least) he decided to at least act like one.

Of course, this lead Phil to be bullied quite a bit, but he stayed determined, sure that someday, somebody would actually suspect something. However, what he had learned is to be discreet about it. He learned to act like a vampire trying to act like a human, and he was sure this would work out for him.

He sold his obnoxiously huge fake fangs on the internet and instead bought some fangs that were just slightly long and sharp. His contacts were also only a few shades too red to be considered normal. He started telling people he had a skin condition when they commented on his pale skin, pretending it wasn't normal at all to have light skin.

He pulled his black hood over his head before taking a deep breath, letting his smile fade into it. Vampires don't smile, everyone knows that.

Phil put in his earbuds, the light of the screen of his cheap phone making him squint as he pressed 'play' on his music. This music almost always made Phil feel like a vampire, so surely he'd act like it to if he listened. He opened the door and stepped out, inhaling the misty air. He groaned inwardly, knowing the humidity would mess up his hair.

Phil strode down the sidewalk, occasionally checking his phone to see where his bus stop was supposed to be. Squinting to see through the fog, he spotted a few students crowded around what looked like his stop. Phil continued to walk, cringing when he felt water seep through his boots as he stepped in a puddle. Phil rolled his eyes, ignoring it. It's not like he could change or anything- he'd just have to go through the remaining eight hours of the day with soggy socks.

However, the thought still made him want to turn around and run home to a pair of dry socks. He knew that after a bit, he'd become extremely uncomfortable and when he got home, he'd peel off his gross socks and have cold, wet, wrinkled feet and he didn't want that either.

"Hey, are you okay?" A boy with dark brown curly hair asked sweetly, turning to face Phil with a soft smile. Phil wanted to puke because of his sugary sweet tone. Well, actually, the boy seemed to have sugary sweet everything. His clothes, an oversized, soft sweater with the word "professional loser" written in a pale pink shade that matched his tight jeans exactly were sugary sweet as well, the flower crown atop his head following the same pattern.

However, he couldn't say that directly to the boy. He was being too nice for Phil to insult him. Besides, he wanted to remain mysterious. Even if he said something awful, that would still give away what type of person he was and that wasn't part of his plan. Phil simply nodded, a bored expression spelled out on his face. "Okay. Sorry, you were grimacing." The boy nodded, seeming to understand Phil's desire to not speak to him as he went back to whatever was interesting him so much on his phone, which made Phil want to gag as much as the rest of the boy did.

Just when Phil was about to mentally list off everything wrong with the phone, his bus pulled up. Phil trudged up the steps and searched for an empty seat. He sat beside the window, making sure his hood was pulled over his head as he listened to his music. Phil furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as the music suddenly came to a stop, cursing under his breath as he pulled his own phone out of his hoodie pocket.

The word "BATTERY" flashed on Phil's uncharacteristically dull screen. Phil rolled his eyes and stuffed the small phone back into his pocket, deciding to depend on the outside of his window alone for entertainment.

Finally, the bus arrived at Phil's school, everyone eagerly pushing to the front to enter their school.Phil rolled his eyes. What was wrong with them? It's not like this was a brand new school, or at least not for them. Phil patiently waited until everyone was off the bus to get off simply because he didn't want that boy to try to talk to him again just because he saw him.

He walked toward the entrance of the school, his boots never failing to make obnoxious clumping noises with each step. As much as Phil loved those boots, he was always wishing he could just tell them to shut up without being immediately and correctly labeled as a crazy kid who spoke to his shoes.

"Hey, Phil!" Phil heard a familiar voice call out from behind him. Phil's eyebrows rose slightly as he turned around to see his only friend at this school: PJ. He smiled, glad to finally see his best friend again.

"PJ, hey." Phil mumbled as he slowed his pace, waiting for his best friend to catch up with him. PJ eventually did catch up, waffling on about a spirit trap he made on a rug.

To put it in words that don't sound super awful and cheesy, PJ was a giant nerd for the paranormal. That was actually what brought Phil and PJ together in the first place- Phil loved vampires and PJ loved everything the known world thought was fake.

Normally, Phil listened to PJ when he was rambling about this sort of thing as it intrigued him as well, but Phil was distracted by his thoughts and worries.

What if someone here besides PJ recognizes him from home? What if he gets made fun of again? What if he befriends someone and they hurt him, like last year? What if he has to spend his summer getting over someone or something again?

"Phil? Are you even listening?" PJ asked, crossing his arms over his chest with an offended expression.

"What? Uh, no, sorry." Phil admitted. PJ quirked an eyebrow as they entered the school, swinging the glass doors open and stepping in.

"What's with you today? This year's supposed to be a new start. That's why we left, remember?" PJ asked with a hopeful tone, clearly trying (and failing) to get Phil excited for the new year. They sat down next to one another in the cafeteria, easily blending in with all the students.

"Seriously, don't remind me." Phil grumbled, forgetting to respect PJ's attempts at making him feel better. Of course, Phil was aware he was doing this and felt guilty, but PJ should've known by then that last year was a sensitive subject. He had no problem thinking about it himself, but when it was spoken of verbally, especially by someone else, there was a problem.

The thing is, everyone spoke of last year like it was just another year, and that's not what last year was for Phil. Last year was hell, and whenever someone spoke of it like nothing even happened, Phil wanted to yell at them for being unsympathetic about everything he had to go through.

"Alright. Sorry." PJ mumbled. Phil nodded, knowing PJ didn't need any more than that to feel forgiven.

"Anyway. How was your summer?" Phil asked, tilting his head as PJ's green eyes lit up, like a notification that sent something he forgot to the front of his mind,grinning.

"Awesome! I found this spell, I think you'd really be interested and I'm totally prepared to cast it, but it might get us both in serious trouble if we get caught." PJ explained, lowering his voice. Phil bit his lip.

"Um... How serious?" Phil asked uneasily. Of course, he didn't think PJ would actually offer to do anything legitimately illegal with him, but PJ was pretty unpredictable, so you never know what he could be up for.

"Might get us suspended at best, but only if we get caught. It's basically a spell to tell if there's any real, actual vampires in our school." PJ explained. Phil's face litup as he continued to listen. "I'm not one hundred percent sure it'll work, but it sounds really legit. We're supposed to make this sigil and put a small wooden box filled with salt in the middle with a silver knife laying on top of it. According to the spell, the knife will carve a number into the wood and that will be the amount of vampires that have been within a three mile radius of the sigil within twenty four hours. It won't take long, and it isn't messy, so I think we'll be fine."

PJ quickly grabbed his notebook out of his bag and flipped it to a page with a sigil traced on it with pencil lead. Now grinning with excitement, Phil asked, "Okay, when and where exactly are we going to do this?"

"As soon as you want to. I was thinking in a large room, like the band room, the orchestra, the gym or the cafeteria." PJ suggested. Phil bit his lip and screwed his face up as he thought hard. The cafeteria had loads of space, but it was near the front of the school, so it was likely that it'd detect more outside the school than in it. The band room and the orchestra room were both locked during the night. That left only the gym.

"How about the gym? It's pretty big and it's in about the middle of the school, so it should detect only the school." Phil suggested. PJ nodded in agreement. "We should do it tomorrow night at three in the morning, 'cause that's an hour after the custodians get home. We can do it on top of the gym-"

"Wait, I'm going to need to stop you right there, this conversation is getting gross." PJ interrupted in his normal voice, holding his hand up. Phil playfully glared at PJ and slapped his hand, making PJ let out a weird sort of squeak noise.

Phil raised an eyebrow. "Did you just squeak?' PJ covered his mouth with both of his hands, a muffled "no"escaping his lips.

"You're such a freaking liar."Phil laughed, playfully swatting the top of PJ's head. PJ moved his hands and glared at Phil.

"No, it's just fucking Chris rubbing off on me." PJ groaned, but Phil definitely didn't miss the grin that sprouted on PJ's lips when he mentioned Chris. Phil leaned back in his chair and propped his elbows up on the table, laying his chin in his hands in a position that mirrored that of an obnoxious-looking teenage girl sitting a few seats away from them.

"Ooh, who's Chris?" Phil asked,mocking the tone of his mom when he mentioned the name of literally any girl around her. PJ rolled his eyes.

"Chris is a nuisance, that's what. He makes this like, loud squeaking noise whenever you scare him or hurt him." PJ complained, unable to hide his smile. "He's so annoying, I swear." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Sure.Anyway, ha-" The bell rang loudly, making PJ squeak again. Phil laughed and head to his first period, his mind still on that spell PJ told him about.

~

Phil plugged in his phone, waiting for the screen to light up to indicate it was charged enough to function properly. He waited impatiently, plopping down in his swivel office chair and turning to watch the time tick by on his clock.

This seemingly boring pastime gave the boy some time to think. He wondered what would happen if there actually were a vampire in the school. What would they even do? PJ had provided Phil with a few more details, and Phil came to find that this spell wouldn't give much information at all. All the spell would give him is a number.

Eventually the screen did start to glow, lighting up the entire left side of the room and almost blinding Phil in the process. Phil picked up his phone and typed out a message to PJ.

PHIL:

hey, you still up for the spell thingy?

 

PJ:

ye kid

 

PHIL:

cool dude, 3amright?

 

PJ:

yes

 

Phil played Pokemon to pass the time until three, slightly surprised when the time passed by so fast. Assuming PJ was bringing the supplies, Phil head to the school, ready to meet PJ.

He assumed that he'd be extremely nervous sneaking out in the middle of night when he was younger, but this didn't feel like much of anything. If he got caught, that would obviously suck, but if not, who cares? He was just thankful for the warm summer nights, glad he wasn't freezing his ass off.

Phil arrived at the school, heading toward the outside of the gym. He gasped and his eyes widened slightly in shock as he looked up, PJ's head peeking from the edge of the top of the gym. He examined the ladder PJ used to get up, biting his lip as he took in just how high it was. Phil didn't have a fear of heights or anything, but he didn't want to fall and die. He was pretty clumsy, so he wouldn't be surprised if he stumbled a bit and happened to fall to his death.

"Get up here, vampire boy!" PJ called down to Phil, smiling like the height was nothing. Phil anxiously trudged up the ladder, tossing himself onto the surprisingly flat top of the building with a grunt. "I already have everything ready."

A large yellow sheet was stuck to the top of the gym with candles that apparently functioned as paperweights. The sigil PJ showed Phil from his notebook was painted in black ink on the sheet, the wooden box resting peacefully in a spot in the middle as if the sigil were made just to fit it.

"How do we cast it?" Phil asked,surprised by how quiet his voice was.

"We just lay the knife down on the box and step back." PJ shrugged, holding the metallic object. The blade of the knife glinted in the moonlight as PJ held it in the palm of his hand. Phil wondered if the skin of PJ's palm would be sliced open if he moved the wrong way. "Ready to cast it?" He asked,grinning excitedly.

Phil nodded hesitantly, starting to feel nauseous. Was he even ready for the answer?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic descriptions of internal organs, corpses and death.

Phil's eyes widened as the knife started to levitate. A power PJ and Phil couldn't see seemed to still the atmosphere, filling the air with power as it gently lifted the knife. The sharp blade of the knife pressed against the polished, wooden surface of the small box, making Phil's heart rate increase as if the blade were pressing to his chest rather than the wood. Phil's eyes widened as the blade started to move, carving into the box.

Though he'd never admit it to himself, he felt a brief moment of relief as he saw the knife make a curve, assuming the knife would etch in a zero. The relief quickly vanished as the knife stopped carving after engraving one slightly curved line. 

The number one was etched onto the wood.

There was one vampire in the school. The school that Phil was at for eight hours every day. Someone in his school was killing people.

As it sank in, Phil fell into a different sort of love with vampires. His warm, admiring love twisted and bent into something new and quite frankly, this new love was terrifying. In fact, this new love is what some people would call an obsession.

~

Phil sat on his bedroom floor, reading what must have been the millionth wikipedia article on vampire sightings he could find on his cheap phone. 

Phil's eyes were sore from the bright screen and the text was pixelated and blurry, forcing him to squint in order to make sense of the text. His skin was becoming irritated by the uncomfortable carpet he laid on. His body urged him to sleep, the moon getting lower and lower as each minute ticked by (not that Phil was paying attention to anything outside the possibility that vampires could exist).

It was only the night before that Phil discovered that some sort of invisible force in the world existed- that spell worked, he saw the knife carve that terrible number in the box. One. There was one vampire in his school. 

Phil yawned, tearing his gaze away from the phone for just a second before reading again. He staggered up and turned off the light, getting in his bed and reading in there after the scratchy carpet started to make his skin pink and itchy. He yawned again and put his phone down for just a second and shut his eyes.

When Phil awoke, his light and his fan was on. He yawned and rubbed his eyes groggily, focusing on the numbers flashing in his face from his alarm clock. 7:30 AM, the clock read. Phil's blue eyes widened and he threw the covers aside, quickly getting dressed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He cursed (an unusual trait from the teenager) as he got ready, neglecting his appearance outside throwing on a random shirt and pulling on a random pair of pants. 

He quickly pulled on his shoes, cursing the laces of his boots and rushed out the door, swinging it open and slamming it shut unintentionally. He ran down the sidewalk, taking this time to scan his area. He spotted a particular area darkened by shadows and wondered if a vampire was hiding out in that very spot, prepared to pounce.

Putting this thought aside, Phil arrived at the stop, panting softly. He checked his phone and flinched at the brightness of the screen, attracting the attention of that boy with the curly hair, who chuckled softly. Phil looked up, feeling a small amount of heat rise to his cheeks as he realized that the boy heard him panting and he saw him practically get blinded by the brightness of his phone.

"I can fix that for you if you'd like." The boy offered, smiling softly at Phil. His legs were crossed as he sat on the bench at the stop.

"Uhm... sure." Phil shrugged, inwardly slapping himself for sounding so unsure about it. It's not like this kid was going to steal his phone, it wasn't even really worth stealing, so why did he sound so unsure about it? Phil held out his unlocked phone and Dan took it, not even bothering to move his hand so the side of it didn't brush against Phil's palm.

"Look. You go to the menu, then settings, then brightness." The boy leaned over, decreasing the distance between the two as he demonstrated how to change the brightness. Phil tried not to squirm uncomfortably as he got close enough that he could smell the boy's... perfume? The boy changed the brightness and handed the phone back to Phil.

"Thanks." Phil smiled slightly, awkwardly taking the phone. The boy nodded, a glad smile on his face.

"No problem, I'm happy I could help. So, since I fixed your phone, will you tell me your name?" He asked. Phil tilted his head. This boy wanted to know his name, which was confusing enough, but why did he feel the need to do Phil a favor before asking?

"You didn't have to fix my phone, you could've just asked..." Phil mumbled. He knew he probably would've stared at the boy like he had two heads if he actually just walked up and asked, but still, it's what a normal person would've done. The boy shrugged.

"You'd probably think I had an ulterior motive or something." The boy responded. "By the way, you never answered my question." He added, the corners of his lips quirking up in a slight smile.

"Phil." Phil said simply, hoping that didn't sound . "My name's Phil." He added quickly. "What's yours?" He asked, only because it was just common courtesy. When someone asks your name, you're supposed to ask theirs as well, right?

"My name is Dan." Dan did this cute little two-finger salute with his hand, and Phil couldn't help but imagine Dan as a goofy anime character. He felt his lips form into a slight smile, and that's when the bus arrived.

The bus pulled up and the brakes slammed with a loud, screeching noise as they hit the street. Phil cringed at the loud noise and the bus doors creaked open. He got on and Dan sat next to him, but neither of them exchanged a word as Phil popped in his earbuds.

When Phil got to school, PJ wasn't there and Phil wasn't surprised. PJ's mom always let him stay home if he asked, and what they saw night before last was definitely something worth staying home for. As soon as Phil entered the school, a wave of paranoia washed over him.

What if the vampire was in this very room? What if the vampire was planning on killing him, or anyone else? What if it was killing someone behind the school as these thoughts swarmed his mind?

Through the entire morning, Phil thought of nothing but fangs sinking into skin and blood dripping from the wounds of the pale and the dead. He imagined the cries and pained screams as the life slowly drained from their eyes. He found himself having unpleasant daydreams of high schoolers, children begging for help with their final gasping breaths.

Phil's stomach dropped as he imagined Dan having the life mercilessly sucked out of him, his skin turning white as a sheet as a monster killed him. He imagined finding Dan with his stomach ripped open, his dried entrails hanging out like the tentacles of a jellyfish washed up on a beach.

Phil shivered in disgust, paling as he started to vividly imagine it. Just then, he spotted Dan from across the hallway, talking to some girl with long, curly, blonde hair. Dan laughed and adjusted his flower crown when it started to tilt. The girl said something, a grin on her face.

Dan's brown eyes lit up and he laughed again, holding his stomach and bending over a bit as the girl said something that made him laugh harder. He playfully slapped her shoulder, his laughter fading. 

Phil forced his eyes away from the boy and walked to lunch, all the anxiety from before filling his mind. He sat down alone at his lunch table, the visualization from earlier having made lose his appetite. "Hey, Phil." Phil looked up immediately when he heard his name to see Dan standing in front of him, about to set his lunch tray across from him.

Phil wanted to stop him, but he didn't.

The girl from earlier sat beside Dan, looking at Phil curiously. Phil wondered why they were looking at him like that until he realized he hadn't responded. "Oh, hi, Dan." He smiled slightly, wishing he had gotten a lunch tray so he wouldn't just be sitting there staring at the both of them. Phil looked at the girl.

Dan must've seen Phil's confused gaze, because he introduced the girl. "This is Louise, she's my biffle." He introduced informally. Louise stifled laughter as soon as the word 'biffle' left Dan's mouth.

"Dan!" Louise laughed. Their friendship somehow eased the atmosphere and made Phil more comfortable, but at the same time it made Phil feel like kind of a third wheel. "Don't call me that! What if he knows French and thinks it means the French definition?" Louise scolded.

"Well, now if he doesn't know French, he's gonna want to know what it means!" Dan laughed. "Good job, Louise." Dan said sarcastically, patting her back. She hit him on the top of his head. "Ow!"

"Wait, what does 'biffle' mean?" Phil asked curiously, tilting his head slightly. Dan turned pink as the flowers on his head, and Phil almost chuckled at that alone.

"Uhm... You tell him." Dan said dismissively, turning away.

"No, you're the one that brought it up...!" Louise shoved Dan, who stuck his tongue out at her. Phil laughed.

"Oh my God, just tell me." Phil interrupted their miniature fight and Dan blushed darker. Dan opened his mouth to explain as his brown irises went in any direction but Phil.

"Well... uhm... in English, 'biffle' is supposed to be sort of an out-loud pronunciation of B-F-F-L which means best friends for life, but I don't normally pronounce abbreviations out loud." Dan explained, gradually turning a darker shade of red with each word of the discussion. Despite the fact that Dan was clearly stalling, Phil didn't interrupt. He knew what it was like to get cut off. "Uhmm... Well... The reason I pronounce this one out loud is because... In French, it means..." Dan started to giggle.

"Oh my God, just tell him!" Louise groaned impatiently.

"In French, it means to slap your partner in the face with your cock." Dan hid his face in his hands and Phil started to giggle.

"You guys have the humor of a fifth grader who just found Urban Dictionary." Phil teased, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Dan took his face out of his hands and held one over his heart dramatically.

"Wow, Phil, that hurt." Dan said with an exaggerated offended expression. "Rude." Phil giggled and their eyes met for a moment. Dan's eyes were so brown you couldn't see anything in them, but Phil still admired them in comparison to his own eyes. With eyes like that, nobody could see what you were thinking or feeling. You could shut the world out of your mind.

Meanwhile, when Phil was upset, people could see it in his eyes. Besides, Dan's eyes complimented his other features perfectly. Admittedly, his eyes were quite plain, but combined with his brown, curly hair and contrasted with his light clothes and skin, they were beautiful.

Phil tore his eyes away from Dan's, coughing awkwardly. Seriously, why the hell was it so hot in the cafeteria?

Then, the bell rang, indicating that they had ten minutes to get to their next class. "Uhm, bye, guys." Phil said with a slight smile and left to his next class. Dan and Louise had provided some sort of temporary comfort, like a pill that only lasted thirty minutes. However, as soon as the pair was out of Phil's sight, the concept of vampires haunted Phil's mind again. 

He stressed over the idea all day, overthinking it to the point where Phil couldn't even think about focusing on literally anything else. After all this thinking, Phil finally came to a solution to his worries: He needed to find and kill this vampire.

He didn't like the idea of killing anything or anyone. Something about death just made Phil want to vomit, but he knew he had to for the well-being of the students. What if the vampire got ahold of Phil, PJ, or Dan?

Phil heard an automated sound ring out: the bell. It was time to go home, which was a good thing in Phil's opinion. He could read up on how to trap and kill this vampire, maybe find some way to single out a certain student.

Phil dashed down the sidewalk, heading toward his house as fast as he could. The way Phil saw it, each moment he wasted trying to get home was a moment he could be figuring out how to save someone's life.


	3. 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I've finally made a posting schedule for myself. Every Monday I will update guilt. As for trigger warnings, this chapter includes graphic descriptions of death on multiple occasions. There is also a nightmare that describes extremely tall heights. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Just after Phil got home, he started a notebook.

Phil ran upstairs and got a spare spiral notebook from his backpack. He plucked a Sharpie from his pencil case and impatiently scribbled Study Journal on the front, the ink unpleasantly scarce in the marker. He flipped open the yearbook and laid it on his desk next to the open notebook, starting to quickly write down names.

He worked like a machine, his eyes automatically skipping from name to name. He didn't bother to write down his own name, but other than that he scribbled every single name down in the first five sheets of that notebook. However, his eyes stopped for a split second when he spotted the name Daniel Howell.

He looked at Dan's smiling face for a moment, seeing how the way his eyes shone in light didn't show up on printed paper. He found himself smiling slightly at the sheet of paper, almost believing that Dan was smiling at him (though he knew his real smile looked far different than the one Dan had plastered on for the photo).

Remembering he had stuff to do, he moved on to the next name.

By the time Phil was finished writing all the names, his hand was aching terribly, but he knew he had work to do so he moved past it.

Then came the second step of Phil's pathetic attempt at the process of elimination. He looked on every social media he could find and searched up some of the more unique names. Using CTRL+F, he searched for the date of what happened. Normally, if someone was absent and they had literally any social media, they'd have at least one comment asking where they were or a post saying they were absent.

Phil crossed out the names of everyone absent on the day PJ and him casted the spell, shivering in disgust as the very word entered his mind. He was never messing with magic again after he picked up the gigantic mess this one had caused.

He finished his work and turned off his computer, surprised at the intense frustration he felt when he couldn't figure out a way to find suspects without observing them in real life. He wanted to know who the vampire was now. There were lives at stake.

Horrible images and visions flashed briefly through Phil's mind and suddenly, he was laying down on his scratchy bedroom carpet, staring at the blurry ceiling. It must've just been sleep deprivation, but he could've sworn he heard the ground whisper for him to go to sleep as his vision faded to black. The discomfort of the scratchy carpet seemed to disappear.

~

Phil peered over the edge of the cliff, freezing in shock as he realized how tall the drop really was. He tried to stumble backward, but suddenly, he was stuck staring down the drop. He tried desperately to cry for help, but his efforts were to no avail. No matter what he did, he was stuck, his heart racing with intense anxiety.

Phil had realized as the dream begun that it was, indeed, a dream. He'd had this exact same one a million times, but each time the dream was just as terrifying as the last.

However, what he didn't expect, was for his chin to be forcefully lifted to look at a cliff opposite to him. With this discovery, he also realized there was a bridge connecting the two. Phil stared ahead, trying to identify the individual standing on the opposing cliff.

The blurry figure had dark brown hair from what Phil could tell, and was wearing light clothes. Just as suddenly as Phil had been frozen, he was free. He darted toward the bridge, a large grin growing on his face.

He ran across the bridge. As he got closer, he realized that Dan was running toward him as well, a dorky grin on his face. Finally, they got close enough to where they could hear each other if they spoke loudly, but the bridge seemed to expand if Phil tried to get any closer.

Phil tilted his head as a third figure started to emerge from behind Dan, seeming to sneak toward him. His blue eyes widened as silver fangs glinted in the sun, nearly blinding Phil.

"Dan!" He shrieked as the fangs pierced Dan's throat, the life draining from his brown eyes as Dan sank to his knees, gasping desperately for his last breath like a fish out of water.

Phil could tell that Dan didn't want to live through the pain the bite had given him, but instinct hopelessly fought for his life. However, his subconscious attempts at life ended up being absolutely useless in the long run, as Dan was now lifeless, blood dripping onto the bridge. The scarlet trail leaked out the cracks in the flimsy bridge, causing Phil to remember the drop.

Phil's pace dramatically slowed. He walked slowly toward the corpse, widening his eyes as he was able to reach it.

If Phil had been patient... If Phil had walked slowly, maybe Dan would be alive right now. This was all his fault.

The loud noise of wood cracking split through the air, causing Phil to widen his eyes in horror. "D-Dan...?" He whispered, trembling violently. Phil screamed as the bridge collapsed under him, leaving him to fall to his death.

~

Phil sat at the bus stop, the dream managing to push its way into his mind no matter what he thought. In the brief moment Phil spent looking at the sidewalk, the very teenager he was dreading having to face showed himself.

"Hey, Phil." Dan sat next to Phil, a warm smile matching his soft brown eyes. Phil felt his fears temporarily hide themselves as Dan spoke his name.

"Dan, hi." Phil muttered, brushing a dark strand of hair out of his face. He looked away, hoping desperately that Dan wouldn't be able to detect his unease.

"What's wrong?" Phil winced as he heard those two awful words and cursed his inability to hide his emotions. This had happened a million times before, so luckily, he knew just what to do.

"Oh, my grandfather's in the hospital." Phil sighed. He knew that he was awful at hiding his emotions, but he also knew that he was pretty great at lying verbally. Dan's eyebrow rose slightly, making Phil wonder whether or not his lie seemed fabricated.

"You're lying." Phil froze as Dan's eyebrow rose higher. 

"W-what? No, I'm not." He stammered unsurely. Dan's eyebrows both rose and his head tilted slightly, giving a facial expression that made Phil want to claw his eyes out with irritation and maybe make out with him. I mean, what? Phil thought. Sure, Dan was attractive, but Phil would never make out with him. There wasn't a point in showing that sort of affection unless he was in love. He wanted to scoff at the thought, he found it so ridiculous. 

Uhm, anyway. 

"Okay... maybe I am. But I have my reasons, and what's wrong is none of your business." Phil's tone grew cold at the end of his speech. Shock briefly flashed across Dan's face in response to his uncharacteristic rudeness. 

"...Oh." Phil's eyes widened slightly as he heard Dan's tone. He sounded shocked, hurt, and maybe even disappointed. 

"W-wait, no, I m-mean, not like that, I just..." Phil sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Dan... I haven't known you for that long, and this is something you're better off not knowing, trust me." He shivered inwardly at the outlook of how he reacted to the discovery. Phil didn't want that for Dan. The poor boy didn't deserve the outcomes of the knowledge. 

Dan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked at his lap in thought. Finally, his expression softened and he looked up at Phil, their eyes locking.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me." Dan decided aloud. "Just know that you can, okay?" Phil nodded in faked agreement, internally knowing that Dan's statement was incorrect.

"Alright." Dan opened his mouth again, but the screeching noise of the approaching bus tore through the air, interrupting the flow of his voice.

~

Phil's eyes narrowed at the individual he'd been studying all day. Somehow, within his 8-hour window of time, he'd managed to narrow down his suspects to a small list of ten, but this girl seemed to be the one he was looking for. 

He was afraid that the only way to find out whether or not she was actually a vampire was to follow her home, but it was okay. He'd rather be ridiculed as a stalker than have anyone in the school die when he could have easily prevented it. 

She kept her black hoodie up over her head as she left the school, Phil following several yards behind. He bit his lip as the possible consequences filled his mind. What if she called the police? What if she wasn't actually a vampire?

She strolled down an odd route Phil had never seen, luckily failing to look behind herself. His heart beat with anticipation. She had to be the vampire. Phil was about to save the entire school, he was about to save Dan, he was about to save PJ. Everyone.

She paced into the inner city, casually walking down an alley. Phil propped himself up against the brick wall, peering around the corner. 

She walked at the end of the alley, a street light illuminating her face. A stranger appeared from the dark, talking to the girl. Phil stepped a bit closer so he could see the stranger. His eyes widened comically and his jaw dropped open as he recognized the features of the figure.

Dark brown curly hair framed the boy's face, his signature flower crown resting upon his head as he spoke softly. Instead of an innocent smile, he wore a confident smirk. Phil could barely hear the conversation, but he strained his ears only to hear a few words.

"What are you so confident about?" The girl snorted, placing her hands on her hips. Dan laughed.

"This." He grabbed the girl by her hair and slapped a hand over her mouth, sinking long fangs Phil had never seen before into her throat. Phil gripped the wall to keep from staggering backward, forcing himself to continue watching.

He felt like he was back in his dream, unable to move, unable to stop this catastrophe from happening. The life drained out of the girl's eyes, and it was so much different from his nightmarish visions. Phil wished, almost desperately for those visions to distract him from the horrific scene taking place before his very eyes.

Her lifeless body fell to the ground with a light thump. Dan started to descend from the alley. Just then, their eyes met and Dan's lips parted in surprise.

Phil scampered away like a frightened animal, taking off with all of the speed his body could muster. He ran home, his heart beating not just with the sudden large amount of exercise but with the fear of how much this could damage his and Dan's relationship.

Phil wasn't supposed to know. Phil wasn't supposed to know about the monster that Dan truly was. Phil wasn't supposed to know there was a vampire that attended his school every day. Phil wished he could forget everything. 

When Phil got home, his first thought was established purely by instinct. Anytime anything felt like this, he needed to call PJ. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to quiet his panting down.

"PJ, you would not believe what the actual living fuck just happened." Phil panted.

He sat there for what seemed like forever, explaining everything that happened. PJ was already relatively updated on the situation- he knew that Phil had narrowed down his large list of subjects to a few people, and he knew that Phil was planning on following that one girl home, but he missed out on one crucial detail.

"He bit down on her throat and she died, PJ. She wasn't the vampire. He was. I don't even know what to think." Phil bit his lip. Finally, he heard PJ's voice from his cheap phone.

"You know what this means, right?" PJ asked cautiously, using the tone he used when he knew that Phil wouldn't like whatever he was going to suggest. Phil thought for a moment. Surely they couldn't hurt Dan.

"No." Phil concluded, listening. He could almost hear PJ nervously bite his lip. The words his crinkled voice brought forth made silence ring through the air.

"We need to kill him."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: implied masturbation

Dan's eyes met Phil's pale blue ones. All he was able to capture within the second he saw him was a glimpse of Phil's terrified expression, but that alone was heartbreaking enough that it burned into Dan's memory. He had seen the lifeless faces of corpses and he'd certainly memorized the expression of someone overwhelmed with fear, but Phil's face in that one glimpse, out of all that he had seen weighed him down with the most guilt.

Phil wasn't just terrified. In that one glance Dan was able to capture, he could detect so many other varying emotions, each warping and changing Dan's hypothesis on how Phil was feeling more. He saw fear, an emotion that stood out way more than all the others. However, he wasn't guilty for making Phil scared. Any human who saw that would be. He was guilty because he saw something that only a few people had the right to feel after seeing this.

Mistrust. Phil trusted Dan, and now, because of this, he did not. 

"W-Wait-" Dan stammered helplessly, only able to make out one word before Phil took off running. Dan stood there in shock, his mouth hanging open in his daze. 

He knew he could easily catch up to the human teen if he really wanted due to the traits he had developed to help him find prey as doing so became more difficult, but he let Phil leave. Dan had already hurt him enough. Besides, what was he supposed to say once he caught up to the boy? 

Dan had learned several things in his hundreds of years of living. You'd think that by this point, he would have learned how to avoid annoying emotions like sadness and fear, but he simply learned that emotions were unavoidable.

These emotions conquered every bit of Dan as he walked home, each apprehensive thought the vampire possessed creating more pain and destruction within him.

What if this alone scarred Phil forever? What if the teenager stayed awake through the darkest hours of the night  fearing the memory of the night his entiee view of the world changed? What if he could never trust anyone trying to become his friend again?

Dan entered his home, the enchanted wooden door shutting and locking behind him with a click. He sat on his rug and lit the four candles around the pentagram, creating four orbs of golden light. He recited the spell from memory, flawlessly summoning a vessel that matched the physical appearance of the student he had killed perfectly. 

Her jet black curls fell well below her neck, her signature hoodie hanging on her shoulders. She stared forward, her once living eyes now blank and dead. Dan couldn't force himself to feel even a shred of sympathy. He hadn't even known the girl's name. Her lifespan was short anyway, just a fraction of Dan's. She was going to die eventually.

Silently, he thanked an anonymous higher power for allowing him to do this. He'd never been caught. However, he was confused as to how humans seemed oblivious to the strange behavior of clones. Where did they think the students who never spoke came from? 

He cast another spell on the clone, gifting the soulless vessel with speech and sending it off to survive in daily life until its time ran out. 

Dan's 'clones' really only lasted anywhere from a few years to a decade after they were made. Soulless vessels weren't made for long term use, so Dan used that for his advantage. 

It was kind of poetic, really- how people that could've had the brightest smile on the entire Earth suddenly turned gray and nobody even noticed.

If Dan was being honest, the guilt he felt for the people that previously loved the girl was twice as bad as the guilt he felt toward the girl. 

The first person that came to mind when the word 'guilt' was Phil. A vivid and painful recollection of his face flashed before Dan's eyes, shocking him. He stumbled backward, startled by the vision. Dan wasn't born yesterday- he knew that this was the world's way of letting him know he needed to do something about Phil. He just didn't want to.

More than anything, Dan just wanted to move on from this town and forget about Phil. So what if a human saw him? It's not like he could go back and change anything. However, the visions were persistent. Obviously someone wanted him to talk to Phil, and they wouldn't rest until he obeyed.

Though the pastel vampire understood that it definitely was not wise to disobey the spirit, he resisted the urge. He wanted anything but interaction with Phil right now. 

I'm not going to do anything, not yet. Please leave me alone. Please understand. Dan thought, trying to convince the higher power though he knew it was hopeless. Please understand why I don't want to talk to him. The higher power only became more aggressive, making dull pain invade Dan's head.

Dan clutched his head, feeling the throbbing pain escalate into what can be described as a migraine. He groaned aloud, flashes of light appearing before his eyes like faeries purposely trying to worsen the ache in his mind.

"SPEAK TO HIM! SPEAK TO HIM! SPEAK TO HIM!" An unidentified voice screeched from the back of his head.

"Speak to him, speak to him..." Dan found himself mumbling quietly as he weakly clutched his head, knowing that wouldn't help soothe the pain but trying anyway. A hand flew to his stomach as a strong wave of nausea washed over him, likely induced by the migraine. He forced himself onto his feet and ran down the hallway to the bathroom, each echoing step of his shoes worsening his condition.

Then, suddenly, the migraine stopped.

Dan panted heavily as droplets of sweat ran down the back of his neck. His free hand clutched his chest as his heart rate began to slow to its normal pace, the puffs of breath leaving his lips creating small waves in the clear surface of water.

He forced himself away from the toilet and sat on the cool cement tiles of the bathroom, leaning against the white wall. Rays of sunlight shone through the curtain of the large window beside the bathtub, illuminating the entire room.

Dan sat in the bathtub and pulled the curtain back, examining the familiar setting beyond the thick, transparent glass. The window overlooked the neighbour's gorgeous garden, where several flowers of beautiful pastel hues grew but all he could think of was bright sky blue eyes blended with several other undescribable shades. 

Dan sighed softly and trudged off to bed, his mind worn out by the migraine and the stress of having to face Phil tomorrow. 

~

"Oh, lord, that was embarassing." Dan groaned, embarassed by the memory. "Seriously, you're bringing that up with Phil here?" He asked, playfully glaring at Louise.

She chuckled. "You say stuff like that all the time. We didn't just meet him, you know." Dan rolled his eyes.

"Really? I thought we met him just now." Dan said sarcastically, glancing at Phil. Phil swept his black fringe out of his face and ate a sporkful of crappy cafeteria food, his blue eyes flickering with disgust.

Even when his eyes were filled with disgust, he was gorgeous. Phil was wearing a blue shirt today, so his eyes appeared to be a stronger shade of sky blue than how they actually were. This strong shade of blue happened to be a gorgeous contrast against his pale skin and black hair. It didn't make that significant of a difference, though; Phil was beautiful every day.

Their eyes locked and Dan looked into Phil's, examining them for a hint of emotion. At the same time, he felt Phil's eyes digging into him as well. Dan's lips parted as he decided to say something, but he couldn't find anything else to say.

:::

Phil moved forward and connected their lips, his fingertips brushing gently against Dan's jawline. Dan moved his lips against Phil's soft ones, silently asking for more. Phil moved closer to Dan, deepening their kiss. Dan let out a soft moan, gently pulling Phil closer by his shoulders.

Phil's tongue swiped across Dan's lower lip and he bit down gently, tugging at the skin. Dan opened his mouth, allowing Phil's tongue to enter his lips.

~

Dan woke up and yawned groggily, dried sweat below his hair. He ran a hand through his curly hair, now frizzy and greasy due to the dried sweat. He felt a curious and familiar feeling in his lower stomach though he was too tired to properly identify it until he saw for himself.

Dan rolled his eyes in annoyance as he saw the bulge in the skinny jeans he had stupidly fallen asleep in.  
Well, he was going to take a shower anyway. 

:::

He got up and took his shower before heading off to his bus stop.

He had assumed that seeing Phil would just be awkward, but the seriousness of the events that had happened just the day before impacted him when he saw the poor boy's face. 

Dark circles had formed beneath his dull eyes, which rested on the cement of the pavement. They raised once to meet with Dan's, and his expression changed from miserable to neutral, the purple bags under his eyes practically vanishing within half a second. 

"Dan, I-" Dan forced himself to turn around, refusing Phil's attempt at conversation even though he didn't want to.

He could feel anger starting to rise in Phil's tone, something he had never heard in his voice. "Dan, you have to talk to me. Do you have any idea what it's like to just find out something like that?" He demanded. Though Dan heard anger in his voice, he also heard helplessness. The same guilt from yesterday piled onto his shoulders. "I almost feel gross talking to you. I can't believe you did that."

Dan bit his lip as he tried to prevent tears from building up in his eyes, suddenly grateful that he decided to turn away. Get your shit together, Dan. Since when do you care what humans think? All they are to you is food.

Dan's thoughts, though perfectly reasonable, didn't possess the ability to change his feeling toward the situation.

"How many people have you hurt, Dan? Are you planning on killing me? Is that why you're so nice to me?" Phil sounded hurt toward the end of his miniature investigation, his voice going so quiet that Dan could barely understand him.

"No. No, I was never planning on hurting you." Dan said simply, refusing to provide him with any more information. If he wanted to make Dan more guilty than how he already felt, he wasn't getting the information he wanted so badly. Simple as that. It's common sense to be polite if you want someone to do you a favor.

"How do I know? You hurt those other people. How am I even supposed to trust you anymore?" Phil pressed further. Dan spun around.

"That's enough, Phil." He growled, his jaw clenching tightly with sudden anger. How could Phil say these things to him? He was only trying to live.

"No, Dan, it's not." He snapped back, leaving Dan slightly surprised. He expected Phil to back down- he didn't seem like the assertive type at all. Speaking of which, the human was acting especially uncharacteristic what with his aggressiveness. "You're literally kil-"

"No! I'm trying to fucking live, Phil. That's how I eat. Humans kill animals all the time." Dan pointed out, glad they were the only ones at the bus stop at the moment. He stepped closer to Phil, challenging him to continue. He straightened his back, trying to seem even slightly taller than him.

"That's different. People have families, they can think, they can feel." Phil stepped closer in response. "You're a fucking monster, killing children. How can you d-" Suddenly, Dan lunged forward and gripped Phil's throat, pinning him to a nearby tree.

"Don't you fucking call me that." He growled. "I'm not a monster. I'm a fucking person just trying to live. As much as I want to just kill animals, I can't. Don't ever call me that again, you utter fucking asshole. Tons of people die every day. So what if I add one person to that number once every month?" Phil struggled helplessly, his legs kicking uselessly as he clawed at Dan's hands. They just tightened around his throat.

Dan dropped Phil, who coughed and sputtered as his face gradually returned to its normal light shade. "I-I-" He stammered, his voice hoarse.

"No." Dan's tone was cold as ice as he walked away from Phil, the guilt having tripled in the last minute and a half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three cheers for early updates!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this, this is when the fun part starts. As a reader, from here on out, you'll learn not to trust the text directly. Nothing is established until you're finished reading, and you'll know what I'm talking about when you finish reading this chapter. What you'll need to do instead is trust the subtext or what isn't directly said in the story.

Phil had no idea what to do. He didn't want to kill Dan, not at all, but he knew deep down that PJ was right.

Over time, he had come to understand that Dan needed blood to live, but he was sure that Dan knew of some other way to do it. Research had proven that the world didn't work like that. It always provided another way out. Maybe the alternate route would be difficult but anything was better than this.

However, after this, Phil couldn't help but believe PJ was right in thinking that Dan was a monster.

One second Phil's eyes were on the ground and the next, Dan's dry hands were tightening around Phil's throat as he growled a warning that Phil could barely hear over his own breathless gasps. Phil's wide eyes stared helplessly into Dan's as he gasped, feeling his consciousness begin to fade.

A violent flame flickered in Dan's dark eyes as he strangled Phil. The human's legs kicked helplessly until Dan dropped Phil, looking down at him with an unsympathetic, cold glare. Phil coughed loudly as he felt blood leave his head and flow throughout his body.

"I-I-" Phil stammered as he pathetically reached out a pale hand, trying to stop the vampire.

"No." Dan walked off, leaving Phil in confused silence.

Phil sat at the bottom of the fence. Rather than mentally repeating what had just happened, he internally reviewed the argument he had with PJ the night before. He remembered the boy's familiar voice, a voice that was normally filled with warmth and childish excitement. Instead he heard a coarse and offended tone, one that mocked and ridiculed Phil for even considering Dan to be a remotely kind person.

~

"He's a monster, Phil! We don't even know how many people he's killed-" PJ argued, his tone almost sounding pleading through the awful quality of Phil's phone's speaker.

"Exactly! We don't know if that's the first person!" Phil interjected.

"Don't fucking interrupt me." PJ spat. "Do you really think that was the first person? Didn't you say he looked so sure of himself, almost fucking proud of ending a life? If that were the first person, he wouldn't be so confident. Also, he's a vampire. They feed off of blood. You're saying he's never eaten before now?"

"We don't even know if he's actually the vampire. Maybe it was a trick. Maybe he's some other... thing." Phil thought aloud.

"Phil, you know damn well that he's the vampire. All the clues point to it. Why are you so set on defending him, anyway? I'm your best friend. I changed schools for you."

A brief moment of silence fell between the two. "I never asked you to." Phil said dryly, his cold blue eyes resting on the carpeted floor of his room as he held the phone to his ear.

PJ sighed, exasperated. "You wanted me to."

"I never said I wanted you to. That was your own choice. You chose to." Phil said quietly, his voice lacking of any emotion.

"... Just remember, Phil. The longer Dan lives, the more people die. I'll see you tomorrow. Text me if you change your mind.

~

With that, Phil found his fingertips dancing across the keyboard of his cheap phone, typing out a message to none other than the exact same person that snarled and snapped at him, like a violent dog for assuming the best of Dan.

PHIL:

i'm sorry. you were right about dan. meet up w me @ lunch

Phil stuffed his phone in his pocket and ran his fingers through his hair wearily, inhaling the humid air. He felt like he was suffocating in the moisture of the oxygen around him, but perhaps that was everything going on at the moment weighing him down.

A cute sound effect rang out from his phone, and though he was normally fond of the notification sound he found himself scrambling to turn off his phone's ringer, a setting he had discovered when Dan was changing his phone's brightness.

PJ:

lol! as much as i want to say i told you so, i won't for ur sake

Phil sighed softly. That sounded like something that PJ would have said before the events that had occurred separated the two. Things weren't like that anymore. He wished PJ would realize that. He understood what PJ was trying to do, but given the circumstances the text ended up sounding obnoxious and rude rather than playful.

~

Phil finished writing with a shaky sigh, the period at the end of the sentence a small, black droplet on the end of his thought. Normally, he appreciated the small drop of ink (he always found that writing with pens with lots of ink did that, and writing with pens that had a lot of ink was often satisfying) but now he just didn't care. 

He was told that this sort of thing happened when you were growing up- the small things meant less because they were outnumbered by the large and numerous issues. If this was growing up, Phil wanted so badly to go back.

PJ frowned a bit, showing that he knew this was difficult for Phil. "Remember, the later this happens-"

"The more people die, I know." Phil completed the sentence with an anxious tone. 

"Three in the morning?" PJ asked, a slight raise of his eyebrows. 

"Three in the morning." Phil confirmed, a flash of offense flickering in his eyes when he noticed that PJ's lips were quirked up at the corners. How could any of this be funny? 

"Maybe three in the morning can be our always." PJ chuckled. Phil let out an awkward, weak chuckle, his eyes dropping to the dark brown table. Phil almost envied the lack of seriousness that came with PJ's personality. Even in the most dire situations he seemed to radiate light, which normally even lit Phil's eyes up.

However, now, it seemed like he was immune to this positivity. That, or it barely existed anymore. They were lightbulbs and PJ was flickering out while Phil had been smashed to pieces just a few days ago by the crushing weight of knowledge. PJ sighed.

Phil looked up, alerted by the noise. His eyes briefly met with Dan's, who was sitting at the table next to theirs.

Dan's brown eyes were filled with regret from the second he saw Phil from the second he looked away- oh, wait, he didn't.

Their eyes had locked and someone lost the key. For just a brief second, the eye contact felt soothing to Phil. He remembered when this would happen- Phil would feel something. He still felt that thing but now, after only a few seconds it deteriorated into something different and painful and sharp, like the very silver blade he had held on the gym's roof top, so high, too high, above all and so close to those stars.

And now Phil was looking into Dan's eyes, completely lost in not Dan but himself. He returned to the lunchroom in the middle of his high school, where Dan was looking away, talking to Louise as if nothing had happened. Maybe nothing had happened. Phil didn't even know anymore.

"Phil?" PJ asked loudly, his eyebrows raised with concern.

"I'm... fine." Phil responded, returning back to the cafeteria table with PJ sitting across from him. No, no, not PJ, his best friend. 

PJ wasn't his best friend. Nobody there at that horrific night young Phil got too curious was. The wind wasn't his friend, neither was the extremely long drop from the roof of the gymnasium to the hard concrete below. 

Yet it was PJ who Phil stood beside, his heart thumping in his chest as he stood on top of Dan Howell's roof. Though Phil despised everything, everyone present that night, the wind still blew through his hair, and that terrifying drop still existed just beside his feet. 

PJ pulled out a large, cheap rug from his bag and unrolled it on top of Dan's roof, laying it across the top of his house. The rug had a large sigil painted onto it. Phil had no idea what it really was, but from what PJ told him it disabled all electricity and trapped Dan inside the house. However, him and Phil were free to go. 

PJ gave Phil a small nod and Phil gulped as he hesitantly stepped onto the first step of the ladder, forcing himself to stare down at the grass. He sighed and turned away from the ladder, facing the roof as he carefully climbed down the ladder.

The tip of his shoe touched the second step of the ladder and he put his weight onto that foot, only to watch in horror as his foot slipped, causing him to lose his balance and fall. His eyes widened and he let out a helpless noise as he fell, compacting with the ground with a disgusting, gruesome snap. Phil gasped for breath as he felt pain explode in his ribs. He couldn't breath. 

"Phil, are you going to go down the ladder? What the fuck are you doing?" PJ whispered, staring at Phil like he was crazy. He wouldn't have looked at him like that two weeks ago. 

"Sorry... zoned out." Phil muttered sheepishly, climbing down the ladder and successfully meeting the grassy ground without injury.

Phil turned his attention to the window beside the ladder. He opened his backpack and brought out his lock picking kit, which he carefully placed on the edge of the windowsill. With a few quick, experienced movements of the instrument he was holding in his hand, the lock was open without a sound. 

Phil opened the window and climbed in, the reality of the situation starting to sink in. If they were caught, they could be arrested. They could basically throw away their entire lives, futures and careers just for this one night of fear. 

PJ stepped in after Phil and shut the window. "We need to be quick. He'll be able to smell the potion as we're creating it." He mouthed to Phil. 

PJ laid a yellow sheet of paper on the ground and drew another trap in the center, placing it just below the last carpeted stair leading from Dan's bedroom. He laid a towel on top of that and started to prepare the ritual. He drew a sigil on another piece of paper and placed candles in certain places.

Phil stood guard, as predetermined, a jar of salt in hand. He nervously watched PJ work, knowing that Dan would come downstairs. They could die tonight. They could have their entire futures destroyed tonight. Dan will die tonight, and it killed Phil to think that they wanted Dan to die tonight.

Phil watched as a silhouette stepped down the stairs, Phil well out of his line of sight. Dan yawned and stretched, bleary-eyed as he slowly lumbered down the stairs. Phil's eyes widened and he froze, stepping back as Dan approached the end of the staircase.

Dan's foot hit the piece of paper and his eyes widened as he looked down. His sleepiness quickly came to a screeching halt as he realized just what was happening. "What the fuck?! PJ?!" He growled, completely missing Phil. PJ's eyes widened, but he remained focused on the spell.

"D-Dan..." Phil stammered, keeping his distance from the trap. Dan's face fell. His eyes widened further. Even though his dark brown eyes were illuminated by only distant candlelight, Phil could vividly see the familiar and fast flashes of emotion that passed through Dan's eyes. Dan turned to face Phil. 

"Phil...? What are you doing here?" He stammered, slowly starting to panic. An expression of pure confusion spelled out on his face. It was almost as if Dan knew what was going on, but he didn't think Phil could ever do something like that.

"I'm..." Phil mumbled.

"Trying to kill me?" Dan asked, anger starting to rise in his shaky voice. "What the fuck are you doing here, Phil?! How could you fucking... This morning was one thing but..." His voice started to quiet as he stopped panicking and figured out what he really felt. "Nevermind. This makes sense. This hurts, but it makes sense." Dan rambled. 

Dan sat down in the trap and put his head down, making his long curls fall over his face as he shifted the weight of his elbows onto his knees. His hands were on his forehead now. He stared at the ground, deep in thought. Meanwhile, Phil was confused.

"Wait, what?" Phil blurted, immediately regretting it. Anything he said would just confuse him further, what was even the point in talking?

"This makes sense." Dan said dryly. "After how I treated you this morning... I'm sorry, I just... I don't think I'm a monster. I don't..." He rambled.

"What? A monster?" Phil tilted his head, thinking back to this morning. He remembered being pinned to the fence, he remembered the dizziness, he remembered feeling so lost after. "You're not a monster." Dan looked up at Phil, glaring at him icily. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? You called me a monster just this morning, you utter asshole! You actually... I fucking hate people like you. You tear me down but when I admit that you're right, you get all 'no don't be self-destructive' on me. You and your best friend are about to fucking kill me, don't tell me I'm not a monster. Obviously you think I am. Please let me hate myself in peace." Dan growled.

Each word that left Dan's lips felt like a rock being thrown at Phil. Each word he spoke hurt more, to the point where Phil found himself fighting tears that wanted so badly to rise to Phil's eyes. 

Phil opened his mouth, and just then, PJ dashed over to the pair and drenched Dan in the substance he had spent about ten minutes constructing.


	6. Chapter 6

Suddenly, Dan stared at his own shaking hands with wide and horrified eyes. His curly fringe wobbled on his forehead as he shook violently, the sensitive skin of his palms starting to become red and irritated. He grunted in pain and doubled over, tearing his dark eyes from the carpet of his home to glare at PJ.

"What have you done?!" He whispered, his face white as a pill. Meanwhile, Phil stood off to the side, his hand lifted over his mouth in shock. PJ's mouth was opened slightly as he was frozen in his spot. Dan groaned loudly and squeezed his eyes shut. "Fuck, what have you done... Leave! Leave no- ugh!"

Dan blinked rapidly as his eyes turned from dark brown to a sickly pale green- and that wasn't just his irises. His entire eye was shrouded in this odd discoloration, but at this point that wasn't even the most terrifying thing happening to his body at the moment. The 'teenager' bent at an awkward angle, a loud, grotesque cracking noise emitting from his spine. Phil gasped loudly, his mouth widening further.

Dan straightened his back again with another loud crack. He had stretched his spine, so now he was about four inches taller. However, in the process, his skin had tightened, tugging on his bones like clothes too small for him. The skin tore open and a vicious creature of the darkness climbed out, at least two feet taller than the original Dan.

The creature had two large jaws that snapped open and shut, revealing terrible razor blades of teeth, spit dripping down the monster's lower lip and onto the carpet. It reached its claws out, needle-like nails skillfully bending threatening through the air. Before Phil knew it, he felt a sharp pain in his torso and he was laying on the scratchy carpet. He felt his conciousness slowly fade for the second time that day, except this time his vision actually did fade to black.

~

Dan fell back onto the carpet, right next to Phil. He felt his soul fill with light as he shrank two feet, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. Then, he felt something cool and familiar seep into the back of his shirt, a wonderful, iron scent filling the air.

Blood.

Dan immediately sat bolt upright, taking a sweet inhalation of the scent. Blood was just what he needed right now. He turned his head to discover the source- Phil. All desires to drink faded away as he saw how Phil was lying there, small, fighting breaths leaving his lips as red left a trail down his chin, dripping onto his chest and soaking his Triforce shirt.

With all of his strength, the vampire rushed to the kitchen to retrieve a health kit. He set the kit next to Phil and cleaned all of his wounds, watching as the human slowly started to breath normally. He bandaged each carefully as well, desperate to help. He wanted anything but to injure Phil further. Once he was finished, he gently lifted the human and laid him onto the couch.

It was almost funny- he had killed people without an ounce of mercy before, but he simply injures this one human and now he found himself constantly overridden with guilt. Maybe that was because he knew the teenager.

He first found out about him when he moved into the neighborhood and his mother had offered him tea and cake. Of course, Dan accepted this request, adopting Ms. Lester's trust and respect. He remembered when the boy came down the stairs dressed in typical emo attire and bright red contacts and Dan had to physically contain his laughter.

Now here he was, lying on Dan's couch, so close to death. Dan wanted anything but to laugh and smile now.

Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked up 'Lester' in his contacts, calling Phil's mum without a second thought.

"Hello, yes, Miss Lester?" Dan asked politely, refusing to take his eyes off the body laying in his couch. "I'm so sorry to disturb you so late at night, but your son was injured earlier this night and I thought you needed to know." Ms. Lester gasped softly.

"Oh, my stars! Is my poor baby boy alright?" She asked frantically. Dan almost smiled at how embarrassed Phil would have been if he heard this conversation. He wished Phil were awake so he could see his face flush red and hear him groan.

"Yes, he's fine. He's passed out but from what I can tell he's going to wake up in a few hours." Dan explained.

"Passed out?! What happened to him?!" Ms. Lester queried.

"Please remain calm. He was sitting on the roof- he fell and got deeply cut on my fence. It's okay though, I patched him up, he should be completely fine." Dan explained. "You can come see him right now if you want, but he's still passed out."

"Thank you so much, Dan, you're a lifesaver! I'm on a business trip for the next two weeks, I can't see him. I know this is a big responsibility, but would you be willing to take care of him? I'll call the school and inform them on the situation so you can both be excused until I get back, and I'll pay you. You don't have to if you don't want to."

Dan held back a sigh. It would be so awkward to basically have Phil live with him after what happened tonight, but he knew that confrontation and explanation was what they needed. Obviously Dan cared about the boy, and he was sure that Phil cared about him too, so they could try to move past this, couldn't they? "It's okay, I'll do it."

"You're such a lifesaver! Please call me every day on his condition, okay? And even if you think he's completely fine, please don't let him be alone until I'm there. I'll talk to you tomorrow, I have to go." Dan opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted by beeping, indicating the call's end.

Weird. She must have been stressed by work or something.

~

Phil's eyelids gently fluttered open, the soft light of morning streaming in and illuminating his pale face from the window. He yawned quietly and sat up, immediately alarmed by the unexpected surroundings.

The first thing he saw when he dared to open his eyes was the pale colored fabric of an unrecognized soft couch. Surprised, he sat bolt upright, causing harsh, stinging pain to explode in his chest. With a gasp, he sat flat again, looking down to examine his apparent injury.

His shirt had been removed, rendering the bandage wrapped carefully around his torso visible, damp, rust red blood seeping through the thin material and Phil could not remember what happened for the life of him.

Phil rolled off of the couch with a grunt of pain, painfully heaving himself to his feet. He limped through the house, reluctant to call out for some reason. His blue eyes found the staircase, which he trudged over to because it was the only thing in this house that looked familiar.

He could almost feel the ghost of a memory poking through the walls of his mind, desperately trying to recall itself but failing. He heard the gentle sounds of footsteps and froze in his place, the ghost of the memory bursting through his mind's walls in a sudden determined streak.

Then, he remembered everything. Him and PJ's plan. Standing on top of Dan's roof. Picking the window lock. Waiting beside the staircase. Then, the sound of needles ripping through thin human skin like tissue paper. Sharp, awful pain. Black.

When he fell to the ground the night before, all thoughts and emotions toward why Dan would do this fell with his conciousness, but now, since he was thinking clearly it was all coming back like a tidal wave of feeling and logic slapping against his skin and shoving him down, sending him tumbling across the sands of reality with the force of the ocean.

Phil's mind drowned him in desperate and alarming questions. What the fuck even happened back there? Was that creature Dan? What happened to PJ? Why was he in Dan's house?

Phil started to panic further as he heard footsteps, subconsciously connecting the moment when he heard Dan start to trudge down the stairs to now. "Phil? Are you awake?" Dan asked softly as he approached the bottom of the staircase.

Phil stayed pressed against the wall next to the staircase, staring at Dan with wide eyes. His breaths were uneven and panicked as he stared at the vampire, too deep in thought to make sense of the situation.

"I know that you're to the left of the staircase, but... I won't look at you if looking at you makes you uncomfortable." Dan suggests, his voice actually sounding caring. Phil's eyebrow rose with confusion. He cared whether or not Phil was uncomfortable? Wasn't he the person who gave him the gashes on his chest in the first place?

He still refused to respond, his mouth tightly shut. Dan sighed and shut his eyes, a hint of hurt in his expression. Yet again, Phil was shocked to see that Dan actually cared about what he thought. The very same person who... Phil shivered at the memory of the strange creature.

"I'm going to turn and look at you now." Dan sighed and turned around, looking at Phil.

"S-sorry I d-didn't respond, I'm j-just so confused?" Phil stammers, surprised at how weak and tiny his voice comes out. It sounds like he hasn't spoken in years.

"It's fine. Come on, I'll explain everything. I understand if you don't want to be so close to me if you remember three days ago. Do you?" Dan asked, his eyebrows raising slightly as the last two words left his lips. Phil nodded, assuming he was asking if he remembered how he got here.

Dan nodded briefly and glided to the couch, sitting noiselessly as he looked at Phil, gesturing toward the couch with a tilt of his head. Phil quickly obliged, plopping down next to him as Dan's intense eyes met his.

"You know what happened?" He asked. Phil's eyes practically flew to the ground as he weakly nodded. "Okay. Then I guess..." A soft sigh left Dan's lips, the fact that he was dreading this seeming to be obvious. "It's time to explain." Phil listened closely, his blue eyes stressfully heaving up to Dan's.

Dan stared at the ground, a perplexed expression written out on his face as he searched for the proper words to explain. He looked up at the confused teenager sitting beside him and began to explain exactly what had happened the night before.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning as heck. Graphic depictions of torture, fat shaming.

"It's like I've got something living in me. It's awful- you saw it. Though it's corrupt and horrifying, it wants to protect me, and I guess... for some reason... it wants you to die." Dan looked broken and angry with himself. Most of all, he looked so pathetic Phil couldn't help but feel bad for him. However, he was still scared, subconsciously keeping his distance.

Phil sleepily looked out the window, clutching his pillow. A head of cut brown hair could be seen just under the dusty window pane. Obviously, it was Dan, but Phil still gasped loudly out of shock and fell off the couch onto his chest. Pain exploded from his wound, making him squeak loudly and wrap his arms tightly around the general area of his wound. His fingertips gripped his elbows tightly as he whimpered softly, tears building up in his eyes. He shook slightly due to pain, having accidentally opened up his wound again. Dan turned quickly, gently lifting Phil onto the couch and apologizing profusely. Instinctively, Phil squirmed in his arms until he realized he wasn't trying to hurt him. Because in the process of lifting him Dan had moved Phil's hands from his elbows, he gripped Dan's sleeves instead, panting softly.

Dan put Phil down and slipped his hand into the back of his hair, gently touching him in such a way that made Phil quickly calm down. "It's okay." He whispered, Phil's chest gradually rising and lowering slower. Phil closed his eyes and let go of Dan's sleeves. Dan slipped away and Phil waited for him to come back, focusing on anything but the pain. He counted each individual bump and fault in the ceiling, reaching 24 before losing count just as Dan came back. Phil had an unintentional negative association with Dan ever since he learned it truly was him that caused this injury. This injury that could have killed him.

A death that would make all of the work Phil had done to get better insignificant.

Dan set a full mug of tea down on the coffee table. He had brought a numbing agent as well as a first aid kit. Phil frowned and whined softly. He was unconscious when Dan had stitched up his wound for the first time, so he didn't have to endure the pain. "It's okay." Dan smiled. "You know that girl who cut off her tattoo with her ex's name on it and mailed it to him?" Phil tilted his head and nodded, not understanding how that was relevant, especially when he was in so much pain. "She used this numbing agent before she cut it off. Didn't feel a thing. Take off your shirt." Phil sat up slightly and lifted his shirt over his head, throwing it on the carpet. His shirt was covered in a dark, rust red stain. That made Phil a little uncomfortable, as he hated seeing his own blood. It didn't make him faint, just a little uneasy.

"Close your eyes. Trust me, it helps." Phil closed his eyes, the buzzing pain in his chest too distracting for him to think about why Dan would know this if he didn't bleed. "What do you want to know about vampires?" He asked. Phil made a little "hmm?" sound, unsure as to how Dan knew he was curious. "You have this look on your face. Humans always get it when they're curious about vampires- it's a bit of a mix between being innocently unsure, curious, and scared."

"Well..." Phil bit his cheek. "D-do you guys have blood?" He asked, his voice coming out scratchy, almost sounding as if it were damaged by the pain. Dan started to work, cleaning the wound. Phil gasped loudly and whimpered as the alcohol touched his wound, shivering and feeling the urge to clutch his stomach, almost as if all of his guts were going to spill out of the slit. Lately, he had been in so much pain he felt nauseous. Making a clear attempt to distract Phil from the pain by making him listen, Dan spoke up.

"Yes. Both our blood and our skin are more hard and thick than humans', so we're harder to drain blood from. It'd be kind of like sucking a milkshake through a really thin straw." Dan explained, Phil starting to cry from the pain under him. Dan didn't acknowledge it. Instead he asked if Phil had any more questions, to which Phil nodded and barely managed to squeak out a question.

"H-how many d-depictions of t-the fictional v-vampire are t-true?" He squeaked, shaking and shivering. Dan finished cleaning the wound. Phil imagined his long fingers working cleanly and complex. As he heard the sound of a soft object gently hitting metal, he imagined Dan dropping the cotton ball into the small, rusty trash can beside the couch. Dan gave Phil a few seconds to relax and recover from the pain of having the wound cleaned, explaining as he did so.

"Hmm... Well, sunlight is okay for us, most vampires dislike it due to natural instinct, but we can stand it. We can't turn into bats or shapeshift. We don't live forever. In fact, we age, just very slowly. A vampire is more likely to die from being killed rather than being too old." Phil flinched as the cold numbing agent touched his wound, shivering. He bit his cheek and tried not to squirm, the coldness of the numbing agent helping the pain go down but making goosebumps rise on his arms.

"What c-can kill a vampire?" Phil asked, genuinely curious. He opened his eyes just in time to see Dan smiling softly and shaking his head.

"Not answering that." Phil smiled softly as well, feeling his wound start to tingle and generally feel uncomfortable. Even though it wasn't exactly a dream, Phil was still grateful for the wound to finally stop hurting entirely. "Close your eyes." Dan muttered. Phil followed his directions without hesitation, his eyelids fluttering shut. He only felt a light pinch as Dan worked on his wound, and when he opened his eyes again his shirt was back on.

"Thanks, Dan." Phil took a sip of his tea, which was still hot but not steaming like how it was when Dan brought it up. Dan's eyes shone and he smiled.

"No problem. Call me if you need anything." He waved and retreated to his room, leaving Phil alone with the same, small window he had been watching ever since he arrived at Dan's. His smile dropped almost immediately. It wasn't exactly what one would call fake, in fact, a better word would be numb. In another situation, he'd smile back from actual happiness (Phil felt happy whenever he saw anyone smile), and now he felt inclined to do so even though he felt nothing.

It was almost as if happiness was covered in a thick blanket that suffocated it and all Phil could feel was its dying screams. He sighed and watched as a cloud slowly passed by. He would rather school than this. He would rather be back where he was before he knew shit about real vampires than anything else, because this is what hell felt like. And the worst part was, he still couldn't stop Dan.

He barely could spare any remorse for the lost lives due to his caretaker, but he occasionally acknowledged their existence in his thoughts. Dan made some attempts to warm up to Phil, but the more Phil thought about what he had done and what he had been doing, the more disgusted he was. At the same time, though, he felt sympathy for the poor soul. It was not as if he could help having an appetite for blood, but how could Phil come to trust or respect someone who was responsible for the deaths of children?

~

Dan wasn't what one would call the most squeamish person, but hearing screams from pain actually made him nauseous. It was one thing if it was screaming because someone was startled or fell and only felt pain as they collided with the ground, another if they just could not stop screaming. He recalled a particular instance in which he was involved with a group of vampires that preferred to focus on one victim for hours at a time, torturing them and draining them slowly of their blood.

He remembered the first time he had witnessed a session of this. He wasn't directly involved- he just sat in the corner and watched out of curiosity. Dan didn't know what to expect as they tied the victim tightly to a stretcher. For just a second, her wide, terrified eyes met Dan's, and he instantly regretted sitting in.

"Aww, the poor whale is shaking. I thought its fat would weigh it down too much for it to be able to shake." One of the guys remarked, followed by laughter from the group. Dan kept a straight face but he found it hard not to revert to an expression of disgust. The woman was admittedly a bit chubby, but Dan hadn't even noticed. She started to cry when one of the vampires wheeled in a bunch of shiny tools, some surgical, some culinary, and some obviously for the isolated purpose of torture. A branding iron. A melon baller. A pair of metal scissors.

"Probably the fastest thing it can do." Another vampire quirked, another burst of laughter following. One leant over and whispered in his ear, grabbed the branding iron, then walked into a separate room after everyone had finished laughing and his face lit up in a rather cartoonish way, his face growing a nasty grin. The only proper comparison Dan could imagine was one to the Grinch. "Alright, boys, let's brand the cow."

The vampire that had left then came back, clutching the handle of the branding iron. The metal teardrop attached was bright orange, hints of white steam occasionally swimming upward from the brand. The other smirked and nodded and he pressed the hot iron to the woman's skin. A horrible stench comparable to burning hair filled the air and the burnt skin sizzled with heat, but her screams was what really made Dan's blood run cold.

He tilted his head backward to keep the vomit that was seeping up his throat down and he closed his eyes to focus on anything but the screaming.

The only thing worse was Phil's screaming, which Dan heard for the first time on the third night Phil was at Dan's.

He had cried and yelped in pain before, which hurt Dan enough, but now he heard every single second of his pained screaming and sobbing. Dan awkwardly slunk into the room and sat next to the couch, Phil's pale hands holding his stomach as he cried. His face and the whites of his eyes were pink as tears soaked into his skin. There was nothing Dan could do to really relieve the pain- he had given him as many magical and medical fixes as was healthy. There were a few more magical fixes, but they would be really unpleasant for Dan.

He supposed though, that the pain Phil was experiencing was worse and he did cause it, but he had never done this before. It was too risky; he just didn't want to, and it required a lot of physical touch. He looked up at Phil and the pain in his eyes shot straight through Dan's chest. Dan stood up and gently slid his arms under Phil's knees and lower back, slowly lifting him up. Phil tried to go quiet, thinking that Dan was annoyed. Dan whispered, "It's okay, it's okay. If it helps, be loud, it's fine."

Phil hesitated, but started crying again but a bit more quietly as Dan carried Phil to his bed. Anything different than what he had been experiencing for the last few days felt comforting to him, and Dan's warm hands were calming. Phil was a little surprised to see that Dan's room was just like any other normal person's, a bit messy but not disgusting, a few papers scattered on the floor, a computer sitting on a desk beside the bed, a few empty glasses... Dan gently put Phil down on his bed, which was considerably larger and more comfortable than the couch.

Dan sighed nervously and sat down next to Phil's laid down form, and Phil mustered up all of his energy to go quiet so he could listen. "This is the only thing I can still do to relieve your pain." He explained. "It'll involve a lot of physical touch, but if you're uncomfortable with that, you likely won't notice because the transmission of energy from me to you will likely be pleasant to you. You'll only be uncomfortable for the first few seconds when the energy hasn't started to flow yet." Phil nodded, each movement laced with pain.

"Well... Get on with it." He groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAHHH I ' M SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I actually have a plan for this story, and weirdly enough, it came to me while I was in Sea Island with my family just before I was going to Fall Out Boy's concert with my mom (it was great by the way). Anyway, I'm super excited for this story. Reasonably so. It's going to be awesome. It might be a bit slow at the moment, but when I get more excited writing it it'll probably get better.


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